Please, Please Tell me the Truth; An Excerpt from The Fifth and Final Name

Polly retold the story and Shari nodded her head that she had heard. Polly cautioned her, “You must not tell anybody about this. You have to keep it secret. It’s not good, not good…you can’t talk about it. It’s too dangerous. You’ll get in trouble.”

Again, I tried to reassure her, “Polly, everybody’s dead. Nobody’s going to get in trouble. Everyone’s dead that had anything to do with it except you and my birthmother.”

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Why I Wrote The Fifth and Final Name

Why I Searched for My Family and My Past

My search was a result of two things: trying to understand the impact of adoption on ME and hearing, from Lillie, that there was a biological grandfather who loved and cared about me. The idea that someone from that family might have cared about me ran in absolute contradiction to my beliefs at that time. I know that I am fairly “normal” in the adoptee arena, in the sense that I felt unwanted and unimportant; a throw-away, a mistake…someone “they” wished hadn’t come along and that had to be dealt with as a “problem.”

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